Wah.. Long time never post bloggy.. I aint got the time lately.. Many things are making me realize about life and death.. and a little bit of both too.. Haha.. First.. Lets flash back.. Actually i didnt wanna post a blog now, because im not allowed to online and i got a biggy exam coming up but since my mom and dad are not home, hehe.. What the heck.. Muahahaha.. Actually, changes right now got me thinking.. Like my parents being away from home a lot, Having difficulty moving around and the mellow trend going around my group.. Is this a sign of mature?? I hope not.. I still wanna be a kid! I feel like a 10 year old stuck in a 14year olds body.. Is this rite?? I dont like this somehow.. Whatever i do is wrong, and i'm not suppose to do it my way.. I just gotta follow rules.. Which i normally don't, but i must.. But i should resist.. Man.. I can't make up my mind again... Also, i have this weird feeling that i cant seem to avoid.. I wanna study for my exams, get good grades and have my two months holiday peacefully and continue life.. Sadly, i dont feel like revising which is a bad sign.. I gotta get good grades in my exams because i really wanna make my dad happy.. he's very proud with the rest of his children, so i wanna shine out the best in me too.. He had his birthday recently, and all i can offer is a stupid card i made.. I wanna prove that i am capable of succeeding like the rest of my siblings and make him happy.. Its like, i live to make my parents happy or let me just suffer.. I need this a lot and i know i have God by my side to guide me.. Although i dont talk about God alot, but i really respect Him and i know he will be there for me if I have problems.. Dont get me wrong people.. I also thought lately about people changing.. I tot i heard a friend say that everything changes including people.. I dont like this change too.. Why cant we all be ourselves the rest of our lives? Is it so hard? I dont like people changing because i like them the way they are.. I was a very shy person but now, i cane out of my comfort zone because of those people but now, the change is kinda involving me with the past.. Its really frustrating.. I need someone to talk to, but each time i wanna speak, i cant seem to say the right words... I feel really sorry for this.. Well i let my feelings out oredi.. I feel so happy now.. Hehe.. See you soon..

     Hie.. Posting another blog cuz i feel disturbed with something.. I ask someone for help but, no thank to that person, coz they mad me feel worse.. Haha.. She said im dead.. Haha.. So read.. Coz u never noe whether this is gonna happen to you in the future..
    In school, i exchanged name tags with ppl.. We did it for fun, and we did it for quite some time.. But.. Someone caught us.. and its a bad thing.. My eng tr caught us with different names.. I was Step, the geek was emerald, n emerald was me.. Hehe.. U'll get confused with this somehow.. Then, the tr caught emery using someone else's name.. and caught me a few minutes later using someone else's name.. Owh.. She reached boiling point.. Then she 'kinda' got angry and scolded us.. Then she went down finding step.. She scolded step.. Meanwhile, we quickly changed our name tags back, b4 she returned.. Sadly, she caught emery and emerald cuz they were wearing it and took their name tags.. She took step's too.. She dint take mine.. Cuz i was hiding it.. Haha.. I tot she juz rampas it.. But a few minutes later i realised that she's the tr in charge that week.. Im DEAD.. She's gonna announce it in assembly on Monday.. I wasnt really convinced that she was gonna do it... But then i found out she looked for our class tr too.. She was so angry.. But I dint get scolded.. Hehe.. I noe im gonna get it on Monday.. So.. I gotta plan my steps.. Haha.. jkjk
     So.. Now im getting all scared, but when i'm old, im gonna look back on this day and laugh at it.. Haha.. But 4 now, im not actually laughing.. Im doing the opposite.. Wish me gud luck.. So i'll only get it from 1 tr.. Hehe..

     Today is such a happy day.. haha.. i had loads of fun eventhough i was alone most of the time.. Hehe.. Today, supposed to go for a project meeting with the geeks and fools but i didn't go.. Little baby had a party at KFC.. So i went.. For the sake of fun.. Haha.. I was a widdle sad though.. Coz there wasn't no clown.. Haha.. I love clowns.. But there was Chicky.. I think he was their mascot or something.. He suxx though..

     The chicky incident was funny.. When the kids were eating, dat huge thing came out of the.. not playground.. KITCHEN!! Haha.. But the kids loved it.. They keep pulling his tail and his.. waddaya call dat.. BLOUSE.. hehe.. They wanna see the loser within.. So bad owh me.. I mean the "good person" within.. Haha.. Then, i was curious whether it was a man or woman or.. erh.. U noe.. Hehe.. Then i asked Siti to ask it.. It wasn't helping though.. She kept on going near it and whispering "R u a man??" then wud run away giggling.. Fools.. But then we asked the staff who it was.. and it was a man.. not a man.. maybe a kid.. no.. a teen.. Hehe.. But when we asked it it's gender, it just kept on dancing.. Which was kinda weird.. Wahhahaha..

     I was the cameraman.. No.. camera-woman.. Watever.. Hehe.. I took pics so not many of my pics were there.. But i prefer it to be that way.. Hehe.. When the kids played games, dat was fun too.. Haha.. Most of them knew how 2 play.. But wat made me laugh was the ones that didn't.. They played musical chairs.. Some followed the rules but some ran around in circles even when the music stoped.. Haha.. Then they played pass the bottle or something.. and pass the balloon.. Hehe.. Cute kids..

     When it was over,we went to the mall.. Thank god i remembered that i lost my guitar pic.. So i bought a new pretty white one.. Vr cute.. Hehe.. Then i bought a nice gold polish.. but the results didnt please me so much.. But wat the heck.. it only costs two bucks.. So no big deal..

     Looking forward to watch I Do.. I never watched it cuz i usually go 2 church dat time.. Its ways creative people propose.. Kinda interesting if u like romance.. Hehe.. So.. i'll give it a try.. I dont really like romance.. I love romantic comedies.. So.. that could be in the same category.. Haha..

     Tired and sad.. Coz 2morrow there's sunday schooll.. I dont hate sunday schooll.. i juz dont like it.. U'll understand.. Hrm..
    

     I'm sure most people don't believe in bad luck.. I didnt too, last time.. But then, now.. I dun think i can explain bout the luck im going through.. On day 1.. It was Science and Maths Week.. After recess, me and the two idiots went to the hall for activities.. We came late so we rushed.. We dint wanna be in front cuz we're juz too tall.. But we had too.. Then Emery was next to someone and i was next to Stephenerd.. Emery dint realize until she did.. Then she asked me to change with her but i dint want too.. Unfortunately, the teacher caught us and punished us for making noise.. Hell.. She told us to stand on the stage.. Emery was like 'Do we look like models??' hehe..But she didnt scold us or do any crap to us.. She juz told us to clean the staff room..
     Day 2.. This involved only me.. I was in class with Patz and i was rather bored, sleeping and distracted.. I wasn't always like this but God knows whats happening.. Then the tr asked me a junior question.. It was like a year ago.. How am i suppose to remember that?!?! I couldn't answer then she gave me choices.. A,B, C.. Still i dint noe the answer.. But ppl kept whispering the answer so i finally knew.. I looked like an idiot..
     Day 3, Maths.. I was a little lucky.. The tr suddenly asked for my book .. I was a little scared coz i tot i dint finish.. When i opened the book, I did finish.. Halleluia.. But there was 1 ques left.. She dint bother.. Emery and Patz were asked 4 their buk too.. I told them it'sbad luck week but no.. No 1 believed..
     Day 4, I got my literature book back.. I was hoping to see the comment the tr wrote for my essay.. I flipped through the pages..But  my essay wasnt there!! I forgot to stick it in my book.. I wrote it on a  paper and  i put in a lot of effort on that story.. But t was in my file.. On my book the tr wrote 'Where's the essay??-Finish it!!..' I did!! I juz didnt stick it..
     Day 5.. It was worst!! Patz, me, Em, got punished.. Washed the toilet.. Hahaha..

     So.. i'm just so really bored right now.. I cant get the song 'Grace Kelly' outta my head.. I dont know why.. It's a weird song, but it's crazy.. Gosh.. Even now im starting to not make sense.. Urgh.. I can play 'Everyday i love you' on organ!! Yay.. In just one day.. Thats fast progress.. Hehe.. I haven't have dinner yet.. Waiting for dad.. Haha.. Can wait.. Not hungry anyways.. Just had cookies for lunch.. Nice butter cookies.. Its weird.. I love butter cookies but i hate butter cake.. It tastes too-butterish.. Is that even a word?? Haha.. Emery, Peanut Oil.. I mean Patz.. Haha.. And Sherilyn came over.. We were supposed to do a Project, but i lent the book to someone and she didnt return it to me.. So sad.. Hehe.. Nah.. Not sad.. We had fun.. My parents weren't at home so we acted like complete monkeys..
     I wonder.. Hehe.. Is it true what people say that friends won't last long? I just hope its not true.. I'm very happy with the close friends i have now.. They're the best retards a lonely person would ask for.. Mostly, they just cheer me up.. .. .. I'm kinda a still naive person, and at this age, most people are 'too' mature.. Hehe.. I just wanna enjoy my teenage times first.. Not those serious types.. I love being childish.. It makes u laugh.. And you know what they say about laughing-its good for the soul.. Haha.. I laugh too much sometimes.. Even my mother gets scared of me.. Haha.,, Well, this is it.. I'll try to write more next time.. Write more Random.. Hehe.. c ya..

     Just got Jojo and Beyonce's album.. I love the song Exceptional.. It makes me feel special.. Haha.. Very nice song.. You should try listening to it.. Makes a nobody feel like a somebody.. I it.. It's a great song.. Even Emery like's it.. Finally a song we have in common!! Haha.. Why can't all the artists make great songs like this?? At least it has a meaning unlike most of their songs.. I  kinda  Beyonce's Listen too.. Listened to it too much though.. Maybe that's why i'm getting bored of it.. Just like MCR.. I the Album Black Parade but i listened too often to them.. That's why i'm experimenting with other albums.. Hahax..
     Trying to send Queenz the songs she wants.. But too bad its slow.. Wakaka.. Sowi Queenz.. Maybe in MSN it can manage.. .. Hey.. It's finally Easter!! I these kinda days.. But still i love christmas more.. Cant wait for Christmas.. I really miss Santa Claws.. Made fun of him too much with my gals though.. Poor santa.. Maybe i wont get any candy from him no more.. Sorry Santa.. Too playful this year.. Hahax.. I wonder if there was ever a Santa Claws?? Hehe...
     2day i'm gonna go to church then have dinner with my family.. Not all of them la.. Just me, mum, dad, bro, sis, n baby.. I'm starting to enjoy being close to the baby.. Can buli.. Haha.. Joking.. Yesterday, went to Salvation.. Mum wanted to buy Worship cd.. My bro n his wife went too.. N that means the baby followed.. When my mum, and the two other ppl were busy hearing samples of the cds, I had the job to see the baby.. He had a balloon.. So everytime he ran with the balloon.. I'd snatch it.. He'll scream and say 'U very naughty..' then he'll hit my lap.. Too tall for him i guess.. I would give it back.. And it would continue.. But he's so cute.. If you're kind to him, i guess he'll be to u too.. But it's otherwise.. Haha.. Poor baby.. My sis is coming home with her kids.. Owh wat joy i'll have.. Haha.. The eldest is old enough to behave i think.. But he has his dark sides sometimes.. The youngest is still baby.. Dont understand if kena buli.. So, he gets the comfort.. All the kids in my family are boys.. So a girl bullying boys?? Haha.. What is this world coming to.. Haha.. Dont worry.. Im still more of a girl.. I have my soft side too..
     Talked to my sis this morning.. Said happy Easter.. I spoke to the kids too.. They're real gentlemen now i guess.. Haha.. No words like 'ugly, silly, big bully' any more.. when he gets mad, he rattles those kind of words just to cool off.. But it doesnt affect me in any way.. Haha..
     Well, here'

     So.. I am so in trouble.. I gotta find literary terms for Robinson Crusoe but i don't know where.. Owh gosh.. What should i do? We're supposed to do it in groups .. That's okay for you.. But im the darn group leader! If i dont do something, i gotta report myself to the teacher?? Nope, i dont think so.. I am supposed to report to the teacher bout anyone who wasn't doing their duty.. Well why is this happening to me?? Urgh.. Whoever's reading this, wish me luck!! I gotta find something fast!!
     Yesterday was Good Friday.. I went to church with my parents.. It was compulsary to go so i went.. It's not that i dont want to go.. Its just that i want to attend that service at another church.. But never mind.. I went there early too, just to get good seats.. But i managed.. Hehe.. The service was long though.. It lasted for 2 hours.. but i counted it as 3 because i went early rite?? Hehe.. Thursday was fun too.. Emery was asking Patz for Emery's drawing.. Patz draws beautiful anime pictures.. I'm not into anime, im more into real stuff.. But when i saw her work of art, it was certainly amazing.. As  was saying, Emery was like 'Is that drawing for me??' but Patz was like 'No.. Its for someone else..' I went into the conversation too.. 'Hey Patz.. Why dont you ever draw for me??' i asked hoping for a weird answer.. I was joking, of course.. Then Patz said 'Thats because you gotta ask, Landy, if you ask it shall be given to you..' Then my friend Eileen started to say 'If you ask, it shall be given to you.. Knock and the door shall be opened for you.. Seek and you shall find...' 'Hey.. isn't that from the bible??' I said as we all burst into laughter.. Haha..

     Nope.. Santa isn't really coming.. =) Just fooling around.. It's April Fools' ain't it?? Haha.. Don't worry.. I act like a fool sometimes.. Neways, today is literally depressing.. My mum gave me too high hopes.. We were supposed to go shopping in noon but she cancelled it cause she wanted to see her favourite reality show.. I used to like it, but now it changed.. They chose really creepy people and the music doesn't sound so lively as it always do.. Thats why now i think it's crap.. Even the comments of the judges are weird.. As i was saying, my mum cancelled it.. I was a little mad cause just now i spent 2 or even more hours doing studying just so i'm free to go shopping later.. And this is what i get.. It's just because of a show!! Geez..
     I cooled down laterz then i went online.. Haha.. I really wanna go.. Thats all.. Neways, is it too late to have resolutions?? Haha.. Kiddin.. I've got a resolution that i've been holding on to till now.. And hell yeah i think u noe what it is.. I wanna try to compose my own song.. I've been having that dream for like forever.. I really love music.. I think it really makes me happy.. Haha.. But the guitar lessons ain't coming any better for now.. I suck at it.. The strumming sounds so weird.. And holding the chords is so damn hard.. I think i ain't used to it yet.. I learnt a new song though.. Betterman.. I don't really like that song but i didn't have an option.. Teacher said the chords were easy and changing the chords is like nuts.. When he gave me a demo, i was like 'Owh, it's not hard at all..' But when i gave it a try, i think even the crows were amused.. Hey, thats not funny.. Chord changing for me is hard.. I take 2 sec to change chords and i haven't even memorised some yet.. Lack of practicing i think.. Urgh.. But if you want to fulfill ur dreams, you'll do whatever it takes right?? I think if i ask Emery this question, either will she say 'Are you preaching to me??' or like 'Santa Claws is my name..' Wakakaa.. She always cheers me up.. Haha..

     Hey everyone.. Im back.. haha.. miss me??.. Kiddin.. I think i really liked this week.. It was kinda fun.. But i hated the fact that Stephenie is a geek.. It is so true.. Cant believe im saying this.. But she sabotaged me!! Thats not how friends are supposed to treat friends rite?? A little offended there.. Of all the things i did for her.. And now Emery is like trying to glue us back 2gether.. I mean, i would like that but i was offended.. How could she even think of blaming me 4 sumthing i didnt even do.. But its not anything serious.. Its juz about a test.. But still.. I wont forget it.. Never mind... Its my problem.. I'll try not to brag it along..
     Got a new english teacher.. Hehe.. She's okay.. I like her cause she doesn't pick her victims to answer questions, unlike the rest.. Haha.. She is tryin to make teaching not boring.. But i think she's doing a great job at it.. Haha.. Neways, got advised by a teacher cause of my hair.. But im not the only 1.. There's more other ppl.. Haha.. Im so sick of getting the same advise so i've decided 2 pull my hair up.. I hate doing it though.. I do it if only i want to wear huge earrings.. But no.. School doesn't allow that too.. But who cares rite?? Its so not fair.. And my rules book got torn into two.. I dont know how that happened, but i must say i wasn't lucky.. I lost the first and you've gotta pay twice the price for a new 1.. Never mind.. 3 years more to go.. Then its freedom.. Haha..
     Im so suprised i got quite impressive results for the first exam.. Its my luck.. I didn't fail nothing.. Haha.. But my Malay, maths, geo wasnt pretty at all.. its ugly.. Haha.. Nvr mind.. I mean its okay.. I just gotta do better for maths.. Neways, school is fun most of the time when the teachers fail to come 2 class!! Haha.. Lots of junk i did.. Me and my gals played hand art.. We drew words on our arms like 'Geek Society' or our names with some loser.. We even drew hearts, ugly pics, and mostly crap.. Its juz fun.. Then when ppl see it, they think its a disease.. Haha.. kiddin.. They think its weird.. But it's fun..
     Hehe.. well thats it.. i'll write more next time..

     Wuhuu!! I am so happy the exams are finally over!! It wont last long of course.. So scared if i failed anything.. I keep telling myself 'I can manage.. I can manage..' but the painful truth is i dont think so.. Only God knows what will happen if i fail anything.. Lets juz hope for the best, rite?? I mean it's juz a first test.. Hahaha.. But it's my fault too.. I didnt do much studying..
     I tried to write the Fairytale Freaks 2.. It's a story me and my gals create using some of the fairytales.. Haha.. The first 1 came out fabulous, but the second is out of clues.. I wrote the second paragraph yesterday and i sent it to Emery but it was boring for her.. She wants to change the whole thing.. It's okay, i guess.. I checked my great big book of fairytales juz now and i juz hope i'll scrape out the inspiration somewhere.. Hahax..
     I went shopping juz now.. I was looking for a toe ring and black nail polish.. Searched everywhere yet none.. But i found a toe ring.. It has a bell on it.. I like bells.. Haha.

     This time i think im gonna type sumtin shorter.. Haha.. Evil Emery.. She said she wanna chat wif me.. But when i finally onlined, she just had to take her bath.. I gave her 10 pathetic minutes.. She came back n i tot 'That was fast'.. I spoke too soon.. She said she had to take her dinner...

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     Dumb emerlay.. Nvr mnd la.. Neways, we meet in school everyday.. Hehe.. But still.. I will take my sweet revenge.. Which is.. uhh.. umm.. Maybe i haven't planned it yet, but i will.. Wakakaka.. Uhh.. Who am i kidding.. Its a sin to take revenge.. Be afraid Emerlay.. be very afraid.. I will plan sumthing!!! Muahahahahaha... Kiddin..

First blog i'm publishing.. Haha.. Not much of a writer though.. I wonder if i cud express all i want to say but nope.. People know who i am anyways and maybe they'll think i'm some sort of person who cant control my emotions.. Though that is so darn true, i'm saving it anyways.. All i wanted to say for a very long time is nobody understands my feelings.. Kinda sad, huh? But it's true.. Everyone i know thinks i'm such a jolly person and i have nothing to worry about, i have a great life and bla bla bla.. But nobody understands me.. That was a relief.. I felt as if i'm free!! Wakakaka.. Okay.. dun act like a lunatic.. Okayy..
Wat did i do today?? Nuthing much, really.. woke up late, had breakfast, and tried to play Keep Holding On .. So lar hard dat.. I mean its a kinda guitar based.. Emerlay n me like had a deal.. I'll play two types of songs she picked, and she'll play too songs i picked.. I chose her Goodbye my Lover by James Blunt (She doesnt really like this song.. Thats the reason why i chose it.. hahax ) and Sunday Morning by Maroon 5.. As you can see, i chose for her those too songs because they are Piano-based.. And what did i get? Keep Holding On by Avril and Cancer by My Chemical Romance.. Haha.. But u gotta noe sumtin.. She wanted to play Sunday Morning but i said 'Hey.. Dat is soo unfair' So she let me choose 1 song.. and i chose Cancer (Its a piano-based song) Finally after some time, the songs are no longer Negotiable.. Owh, and you noe whats the dumb part?? I made the rule that it wasn't negotiable no more.. And now, i cant even manage 2 play Keep Holding On.. But Cancer is going great though.. It juz sounds a little rusty.. But i guess a little more practice wud fix dat.. Hahax.. Wish me luck!! Wakakaka..