Wah.. Long time never post bloggy.. I aint got the time lately.. Many things are making me realize about life and death.. and a little bit of both too.. Haha.. First.. Lets flash back.. Actually i didnt wanna post a blog now, because im not allowed to online and i got a biggy exam coming up but since my mom and dad are not home, hehe.. What the heck.. Muahahaha.. Actually, changes right now got me thinking.. Like my parents being away from home a lot, Having difficulty moving around and the mellow trend going around my group.. Is this a sign of mature?? I hope not.. I still wanna be a kid! I feel like a 10 year old stuck in a 14year olds body.. Is this rite?? I dont like this somehow.. Whatever i do is wrong, and i'm not suppose to do it my way.. I just gotta follow rules.. Which i normally don't, but i must.. But i should resist.. Man.. I can't make up my mind again... Also, i have this weird feeling that i cant seem to avoid.. I wanna study for my exams, get good grades and have my two months holiday peacefully and continue life.. Sadly, i dont feel like revising which is a bad sign.. I gotta get good grades in my exams because i really wanna make my dad happy.. he's very proud with the rest of his children, so i wanna shine out the best in me too.. He had his birthday recently, and all i can offer is a stupid card i made.. I wanna prove that i am capable of succeeding like the rest of my siblings and make him happy.. Its like, i live to make my parents happy or let me just suffer.. I need this a lot and i know i have God by my side to guide me.. Although i dont talk about God alot, but i really respect Him and i know he will be there for me if I have problems.. Dont get me wrong people.. I also thought lately about people changing.. I tot i heard a friend say that everything changes including people.. I dont like this change too.. Why cant we all be ourselves the rest of our lives? Is it so hard? I dont like people changing because i like them the way they are.. I was a very shy person but now, i cane out of my comfort zone because of those people but now, the change is kinda involving me with the past.. Its really frustrating.. I need someone to talk to, but each time i wanna speak, i cant seem to say the right words... I feel really sorry for this.. Well i let my feelings out oredi.. I feel so happy now.. Hehe.. See you soon..